I should do whatever I want to do

whydoihavetofeelthisoverandoveragain.thisissotorturing.iaintknowhowtohandleitanymore.allicandoistoignoreandkeepmyselfbusyandputoonasmileandtelltheworldthatiamalright.dontaskmewhybecauseiwillnotansweranyoneofyou.isjustme.soleavemealonemaybe?

Anyway, 

Should I get a second ear piercing right above my first? I'm thinking to get one tho.. 

I might want to go get my second piercing to feel some pain.. Feel like torturing my own body with some pain. My first one I got it when I was very young probably I don't remember that it hurts so why not try the second time and feel it once again. :) I shall find time. I should do whatever I want to do. Do what I want to do and do it for myself. Those are the reasons to make changes in ourselves whether it is having piercing or anything else, it should always be for MYSELF! :) 

BUT WAIT! 

................ I need to think of my future profession. ._. my current ministry. BLAH! 

Every single thing that I want to do especially for my appearance I will need to think of the consequences especially on my ministry. At times I'm really frustrated. To do or not to do. so annoying at times.. ._. But I always tell myself is okay.. Is where I chose to be. whatever it is.. I shall decide soon! Since piercing can be hidden. :P 

till then..