Saturday, 31 March 2012

Some said..

Some said when we learn how to let go of things, we are strong.
Some said when we learn how to let go of things, we are hiding from the fact.
Some said when we learn how to let go of things, we are weak to face the consequences.

No matter how are we try, the little things that happen around us will trigger our emotions our memories. I experience that personally and it sux. I am very emotional kind of person. So it make it worse for me. Yes! WORSE! sad to say.. I wish that my brain is like a computer where we can format or delete things that we wouldn't want to keep any more. Hoping that we can begin new chapter in life. The past is the past. Nothing can be done. Is true that memories hold and remain forever. Suck but thats life. 

This semester is my second last semester. Which means in 8 months time I'll be out in the working world. I cannot imagine myself in the working world. I asked myself, what will I be? Who will I be? Am I going to turn into someone that chase after wealth and power and forget that life is not just about that? It freaks me out knowing the numbers of commitment that is in line waiting for me to commit. I am feeling the burden right now. Being the eldest in the family is not the best thing in life. Yes, you may get respect from the younger ones and to boss them around like a boss.. But, when you're older things changes. The responsibilities are more. I am feeling it right now. I do not know what I should do to become a better a better woman. I always tell myself.. Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out. But regrets? BLAH! 

If only my life has a trailer that shows me what's next in my life so
 I will not make mistakes that I'll regret for life. 


till then.. 

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Happiness has nothing to do with pleasure

You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it. Or when you don't want something and you remove it. Pleasure is always relative. Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

I love you for a thousand more

Stuck in my head

Everyone has a right to be insane

Doing something out of our mind feels awesome. Sometimes we might regret after the actions but we only live once! Why should we care how others think or feel about us? teehee.. 

Was out with my friends for dinner, I don't know what was on my mind. Took friend's ipod and camwhore! 









When I am happy, I see the happiness in others. When I am depressed, I notice that people's eyes look sad. When I am weary, I see the world as boring and unattractive.
Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far for things that are nearby.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Finally I am Back

After few months not updating any post, I finally took the effort to update.TADA!~
I've been away for awhile. I dont know about you, but I had a rather disturbing time for the past few months. I had ups and downs, laughs and tears, progress and defects. I used to be very active blogger. I miss my old blog. I miss the things that I wrote, the way how I express myself in there which makes me spend sometime on my own to do self reflect with the things I said and done. I never thought I will go through so much in life. I found myself struggling through life the roller coaster that I gone through can never be erase from my memory. Lets just cut everything short and simple for now. I am just going to sum up everything that happened.  



Well, a little update about my life. I finally got myself a DSLR camera which means I can now finally learn and improve on my photography skill. A picture worth a thousand words. I realize that I can no longer express myself through words. Hence, the pictures. :) 


Hello 600D
Good enough for a newbie like me. :) 


For the past few months, Girls' Brigade ministry really took up most of my time. From the company level to the state level to the national level. 


Firstly was the Christmas Musical, 



Christmas in Reverse basically tells the story of how Christmas came to be. This musical starts off at the manger scene where the shepherds, wise men, Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus are gathered. With the choir singing the story in the background, the narrators move on to tell the story of why Christ came to earth. Christmas in Reverse takes us back to the very beginning – the Garden of Eden. There we see how man first sinned and how they were separated from God at that moment. Next, the musical shows the time of Noah and the ark. During Noah’s time, there were many sinful people. God was not pleased with the evil and sinful people and only found Noah and his family worthy to be saved. God told Noah to build an ark and gather 2 of every species of animals. People around Noah and his family thought that he had gone crazy and did not believe him when he said a big flood was coming. Soon the flood came and it rain continuously for 40 days and 40 nights. When the flood was over, God sent the rainbow as His covenant towards the people and as a promise that He shall never again flood the earth. Many years later, Jesus was sent to earth by God through a virgin named Mary, who was betrothed to a carpenter named Joseph. She conceived Jesus through the Holy Spirit and Christ Jesus was born in Bethlehem in a stable.This production had been in planning since early 2011. This production is my first production that I'm involve fully in the organizing committee team. It was really a great learning experience. I used to think that to be part of the committee member, we will first need to be good in something. For instance, acting, singing etc. I'm always shy and I know that I am never good with musics and vocal. I used to dislike joining such things thinking that others will give me the look that I can never accept. I am very concious on how people look at me, judge me or think of me. Is bad I know. But yea that's how I see that group of people. Back to the production. I'm asked to be the stage manager and work with many different people in the church. As stage manager, I will need to know everything that is happening but somehow I felt that I'm always left out. Maybe because of my age and my experience. Nevertheless, I learn really alot through this production. Not just the experience, I build a better relationship with others too. The biggest satisfaction I have is that the girls learn a lot through the musical. Looking at the excitement, the joy and commitment they gave, is all worth it. Lets just leave the grief and dissatisfaction to God and let him decide what and how I should do to improve myself. :) All in all, this would not have been a success without the guidance from Him. We all truly thanked God for His continuous blessings towards the musical. Indeed He has been nothing but a great and faithful God towards us. As Luke 1:37 “For nothing is impossible with God” what we thought was a near impossible feat was made possible.

Next, Fonomarae 2011. 

Let me share my message I wrote on the Fonomarae handbook..

  In 2006, as a senior from 1st Kuala Lumpur Company I attended the 7th Fonomarae.  Today I’m a Warrant Officer and chairing this 8th Fonomarae Malaysia Organising Committee.  During my Senior girl years and from the camp, I learned that being grateful changes me, it brings joy and laughter into my life and into the lives of all those around me.  There’s a quote that says “reflect each day on all you have to be grateful for and you will receive more to be grateful of”.  Be mindful of Romans 12:2 - "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Being grateful and appreciative of someone or something in my life opens the door for me to receive and love others without conditions attached. It actually adds value to my life - my life transformed, His world enriched.  I’ve grown up as a girl meeting different people in the Girls’ Brigade, and now I’m involved in the youth ministry. Seeing the girls fit in and growing in Christ reminds me of the path I once walked through.
Fonomarae is unique to GB only and there was Fonomarae in other countries  like New Zealand, Australia and Zimbabwe. Initially I was very reluctant to take up the position and organize such a big camp. However, after giving some thought, I changed my mind.  Reason is because, such camp does not happen often in Girls Brigade. We hardly have a gathering of more than 300 girls and with international participation as well. Therefore, I do not want the girls to miss the opportunity to experience what I have experienced before, which is the fun, the excitement and the opportunity to know girls from other countries. Therefore I took up the challenge and accepted this task.  This is my testimony. God wants me to share my personal experience with the girls about my life being transformed by Him. Though the responsibilities are heavy but I believe that "I can do all this through him who gives me strength" - Philippians 4:13. Not my will but His be done.
As time passed, I realized how much God has changed me through circumstances in my life. There are many obstacles I faced throughout the years when I’m in Girls Brigade but God cared more about my character than to spoil me with what I think I need in my life. The transformation that God had done made me who I am today and I know He is still guiding and teaching me each day. Through Girls’ Brigade, my life has been enriched from not knowing Christ to knowing Christ as my personal Saviour. I sincerely pray that girls will find an enriched life in Christ Jesus and may you also enjoy this 8th FONOMARAE 2011 to the fullest!  Don’t forget - a life of gratitude.

That's my message to the girls. 

Personally, taking up this camp was really a big calling from God. It was my first time managing such big camp which involve people from Asia countries. It was a challenge to myself. Is really though. Something that I think many will not experience it. I'm glad I took the challenge up and with the support from my good friends, family and my mentor, I am glad that the camp ran smoothly and seeing that the girls enjoyed themselves and have good memories make it all worth it. A smile from them makes me feel that all the pain and bitter moments worth. :) Glory to God


 <3 them


That's about it. The major event that happened in my cycle of life. 
I shall update more in the next post. 
till then... 

Monday, 12 September 2011

TOO late?

Will it be too late to start all over again?
Will I have this chance?
I dont even know how to say Hi to you. =(

Friday, 8 July 2011

New semester

Hello bloggers,

New semester just began, and everything was messed up! My life, my family, my laptop, my everything!
I'm pissed at myself not others. Simply because, if I would to handle things in a much better way, things would have been even better. I will not have to get screwed up or watever it is! The feeling just ain't right! I wish I have time machine to turn back time! But o well, back to reality.

I only had 3 weeks of holiday! and is pretty obvious is not enough! How can we enjoy with such a short holiday! Is so not fair. Most of my friends from other university have like 1 or 1.5 months of holiday! D: This is really sad. =( O well, nth can be done but to accept the fact and deal with it!
Spend my 3 weeks working and earning money. Besides earning money, I learnt alot too! It was all worth! =)

This semester would be my semester 1 in Year 3! Wow, thats fast, I'm already in Year 3 now. I still got like 10 subjects plus a graduation project in order to complete my degree. I wonder how should I plan my time. Should I delay a semester so that I can chill and relax to do my graduation project or should I stress myself up to rush and graduate early! Dilemma! But I guess I have my decision already. I just need the support from my family! =) Hope this new semester I'm able to cope up and do well. Previous semester subject I scored straight Bs.. =.= How I wish it was straight As instead! Gahh! I hope my CGPA will still maintain! =(

Is pretty obvious I have not let go the stone inside my heart! Is pretty heavy. I hope I will have the guts to go lift it up and throw it away! =)

No pics available yet because my lappie just formatted, so pics are all still in my hardisk. I'm just being lazy! =P