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Aftertodayiamconfusedonceagain.sigh~ No longer know how to express myself anymore.
Been really busy with assignment. Update soon on friday perhaps.
See you peeps! <3

Chillout

Hello,

Assignment is driving me nuts. I don't know what I'm writing, what I'm doing and what I'm thinking. Feel like giving up. First time feeling so worried. :S

Anyway, Half way doing with assignment decided to get out the house to chill with the babes.The girls have yet to try the fried mars and snicker bars from Tom Dick & Harry's Bar so I decided to bring them there. The food there is awesome and filling. There's 4 of us we ordered 2 main course and 1 dessert and we're darn full already. We had great time catching up with each other and talking about some serious stuff. :) Recently I realize that my friends all begin to talk about their future career, future stuff and all. I begin to feel we're a little more mature. :)

There! Our order.

Chicken Mushroom Pie, Fried mars and snicker bars with ice cream & pork burger

After consuming so much of calories, we decided to just throw away our diet plan and go ahead with more calories which is the BEER! We headed to beer factory as the beer there is freaking cheap. We had like more than 10 pints of beers. This is crazy. 

Emotionally I'm done. Mentally I'm drained. Spiritually I'm dead. Physically I smile. that's me.

Weird yet so real

I had weird dream yet I feel is so real. I asked myself, is God trying to tell  me something through it? I wish it was real for certain part and not for certain part. I'm even more confused right now. I already said I am stepping back and pressing on breaks already. Yet why such dream? :( sigh.. This is so disturbing.. :(

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same

I know what I should do

Whenever I get near, I lose that inner voice that tells me this is wrong and I go through with it all anyway. I hear the blunt truth from everyone, that the same will happen to me. I just can't understand why I have to go through this. I am just so confused and everyone tells me  the same thing..

But today.. 

Today I realize something.. that I should really let go and move on and should not let it bother me anymore. Knowing that the result might not be what I wanted, so why wait? Why so silly? I guess I need to wake up and get back to reality. :)  

I will always remember this quote as it hurts me a lot when someone did something hurtful to me. Therefore, I will try not to hurt anyone on purpose. :)

Always put yourself in the other's shoes. 

If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

I should do whatever I want to do

whydoihavetofeelthisoverandoveragain.thisissotorturing.iaintknowhowtohandleitanymore.allicandoistoignoreandkeepmyselfbusyandputoonasmileandtelltheworldthatiamalright.dontaskmewhybecauseiwillnotansweranyoneofyou.isjustme.soleavemealonemaybe?

Anyway, 

Should I get a second ear piercing right above my first? I'm thinking to get one tho.. 

I might want to go get my second piercing to feel some pain.. Feel like torturing my own body with some pain. My first one I got it when I was very young probably I don't remember that it hurts so why not try the second time and feel it once again. :) I shall find time. I should do whatever I want to do. Do what I want to do and do it for myself. Those are the reasons to make changes in ourselves whether it is having piercing or anything else, it should always be for MYSELF! :) 

BUT WAIT! 

................ I need to think of my future profession. ._. my current ministry. BLAH! 

Every single thing that I want to do especially for my appearance I will need to think of the consequences especially on my ministry. At times I'm really frustrated. To do or not to do. so annoying at times.. ._. But I always tell myself is okay.. Is where I chose to be. whatever it is.. I shall decide soon! Since piercing can be hidden. :P 

till then..

Sunday (16/9)

SELAMAT HARI MALAYSIA PEEPS! :) 

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Sunday! 

I woke up feeling empty-ness in me. I wonder why. I've been having this feeling for the past few days. Maybe thats the reason why I am emo-ing. Yes, I am emo. :( sigh~ 

I guess I know I gotta pull myself back with the feelings I am having right now. This is a really hard thing for most people to do. It seems that I trained myself to think think think so much that I cant get my mind stop doing it. This is especially hard when I want to sleep or rest or even relax. It's like a really annoying person inside me that just won't shut up about something you don't want to hear, but that person is stuck inside your own head. I guess I am dealing with lots of emotional highs and lows. One minute I might feel great, and the next I will feel sad and tearful. This kind of shift in my mood is SO-NO-OK! ._. Being human is an emotional experience - we all have our moments of happiness, sadness, anger, depression, anxiety and a host of others feelings. How do we deal with those  emotions? Why are some feelings harder to handle than others? sigh~

All I know now.. I need to step on BREAK! break feli break! :( 

The only comfort I can find right now is from musics.. I can't post emo status on any social website I have simply cause I do not one people to know what I'm going through wont want them to worry about me. Or maybe I should say.. I care how others look at me. :S So I stopped.

Life is about trusting our feelings, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories and learning from the past. 

I was given this life because I'm strong enough to live it? 

 

I miss broga hill's view.

I guess I should go there again soon. :)  

till then.. 

Lazy Saturday

Indeed it was a lazy Saturday for me. Usually on Saturday I will be busy with my church activities. But since tmr is a public holiday, my leader decided to give us a break. So there's no meeting for today! It does not feel like a Saturday to me. I'm so used to being at church in the afternoon spending my whole afternoon there. O well, i took this time to chill and relax and spend more time on myself.

So I spend my whole day with my mom and my brother. It was awesome! Its been a while since I last had a chance to do this on a Saturday. 

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I needed a new pair of shoes for running. Hence, I headed to Al-Ikhsan to get a new pair of sport shoes! I could not tolerate with my old pair of shoes anymore so I dragged my mom along with me and went for a little shopping. I bought what I needed and I'm satisfied with it! :)  

I chose Nike over Skechers Shoes. Simply because SgWang does not have any Skechers shop and my mom was lazy to follow me to Sunway Pyramid. 

TADA! :D

Goodbye old shoes.. 

I'm supposed to go for paintball with friends! RWAR! however, because I could not find any girls to go with me, I decided not to go. It'll awkward if I actually join the whole group of guys playing plus I'm not good at it. Surely I'll be bullied by them! I so wanna play it so badly. O well, there's always next time.. 

So, instead of going for paintball, I spend awesome night with my family again! 

I had TomYam Steamboat for dinner! Yum~ I love spicy food. However, I dont usually eat spicy when I am outside with friends. I usually sweat a lot when eating spicy food even if is just a little spicy and I'll look messy. So I decided to not have anything spicy when I am out but when I am home with my family.. I'm ME! hohoho~ <3 

I guess it is a good idea to stay busy when you are missing someone other wise it will take over your mind if you thinking about it all day. I guess I should do things that I enjoy as it will take my focus away from that missing feeling. I shall enjoy my life and don't let it get taken over by these feelings.! rwar~

Till then..